In addition to being a Poet In Residence to the Universe, I am also a certified Executive Coach.

I continue to have the privilege of going on many coaching adventures with leaders from many diverse industries.

My coaching approach is aptly named TransFLOWmation. It is based on the premise that leaders who are interested in serving their teams and organisations have the innate potential, and my job as a coach is to help them find and transcend all that gets in the way of this flowing out from them.

They are not broken and need fixing; they just need a mirror from which they can begin to see their true identity and experience transformation into what they already are.

The mirror works both ways. Coaching supports the client as well as helping the coach grow.

As I reflect on coaching sessions, there are often things that inspire my journey.

This series will feature lessons and insights that are reflected in this two-way mirror.

As always, these will be encapsulated by poetry, targeted straight to the heart.

It is my hope that your life will be enhanced by this series and you will share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Coach

The gift of a coach

Is to be a mirror

For you to see yourself

Nature’s gift as a coach

Is to be a mirror

For us to see ourselves

The gift of all of us

Is to be a mirror

For us to see we are all one

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When you look in the mirror what do you see?

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In the introduction to this series, I shared that the premise of the TransFLOWmation approach was that leaders inherently possess the potential for great leadership. (Click the link in the comments below to catch up).

This is not, however, always evident in practice and part of my mission as a coach is to help leaders understand the mind so that it becomes an ally and not a liability in manifesting their greatness.

The first part of this process is to create a personified identity for your mind so that you can take the seat of the witness and observe with some distance its preoccupations and limitations.

This will empower you to decide how deeply you need to be emotionally invested.

The first step in this process is to come up with a name for that voice in your head. No overthinking it, just go with the first one that comes up.

I will tell you later what to do with this.

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Minds Do

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Minds do what they do

Minds do get confused

Minds do what they do

Believing to know what's best for you

Minds do what minds do

Then there it is that part of us

That sees minds doing what they do

Minds do what they do

If all you can see is mind as you

You'll be all that mind is

Minds do what they do

What is that to you?

Minds do what they do

You do what you do

In sync with what minds do

Sometime that may work for you

Other times it would not do

You see the mind do as it do

No point in fighting and resisting it too

Else you be done as minds do

Lost in the haze, sincere and confused

In full flight, paper tigers seen as real

Lovingly enquire, what is this to me

Minds just doing what they do

Knowing yourself much more than minds do

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What name would you give that voice in your head?

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In episode one, I suggested you give the voice in your head a name so you can create the SPACE to witness the mind at work (Click the link in the comments below to catch up).

The purpose of this exercise is to lean into the part of you that is able to identify when your mind is not being helpful.

The premise is that you, the subject, have some space to observe the mind as the object of your observations and make choices that serve you.

Your mind is primed to keep you safe, not make you happy. The problem it has is that its safety alert system, designed to protect us from existential dangers, has not kept pace with our new, more abstract environment.

Have swapped the forest for the boardroom and our breath for our reputation; we are being triggered to fight or take flight even though we are fundamentally ok in that present moment.

We are going the use the SPACE created from giving your mind its own identity to begin noticing the many ways the mind gets confused and what we can do about it.

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Tigers on the loose

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Where are those tigers now?

The ones that chased our ancestors for meat

Prowling the jungles, forests and woods

Ancients sleeping lightly with one eye open

Did they follow us into our concrete jungles?

Are they Lurking in the corridors of corporate boardrooms

Or Loitering in the grounds of modern classrooms?

Perhaps Making unscheduled visits to theatres and concert venues?

Spreading dread seeming no less fatal

Inciting fear no less palpable

Swapping meat for self esteem

Trading bones for reputations

Hunting by stealth and launching virtual attacks

Our chests their new found land

Now we fail to sleep, with both eyes wide open

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What was your mind trying to protect you from when you were last triggered?

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In episode 2, I pointed out that the mind can get confused in its mission to keep you safe and trigger your safety mechanisms when you are existentially ok (Click the link in the comments below to catch up).

Once you have given that voice in your head a name, this creates an opportunity to notice its patterns and limitations.

When I first introduce clients to this concept, and begin to draw their attention to tendencies such as

Unreliable predictions

Unhelpful comparisons

Errant assumptions

Unsubstantiated projections

Unbalanced bias

Their mind jumps straight to 'I can see how this is not helpful, how can I fix this!'

I say to them, there is nothing to fix, we are just going to notice these things play out from our newly inhabited seat of the witness and not the perpetrator.

That voice in the head starts protesting at this seemingly passive approach to something so 'problematic'.

When thought is creating the problem, more of it will not solve it, noticing opens the door of awareness and creates the opportunity to learn about what has been running your life.

It brings to consciousness what was previously hidden, and the insight begins to loosen its grip slowly but surely.

In the next episode, we will start looking at some of the things you may notice.

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Noticing

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

The power of paying attention

Becoming consciously aware

Though it has always been there

Running under my radar

Shaping my experiences

Of which I was oblivious

The windows now open

My vision much clearer

That which had me

Letting go ever so slowly

A reality seen in retrospect

Through the power of noticing

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What patterns are you noticing about that voice in your head?

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#poetricity Presents - Reflections From The TransFLOWmation Coaching Mirror - (Episode 4) - Mind Time Travel

Episode 3 was about the power of noticing to surface insight that leads to the transformation of your experience (Click the link in the comments below to catch up).

As you begin to witness the mind at work, it will become apparent that it has very little interest in the present moment

Ruminating over the past and predicting the future feature prominently in its repertoire.

There is nothing inherently bad about that; we can learn from the past and make plans for the future.

What I do find is that the mind can get caught in a loop that does nothing but zap mental energy without adding any value to the quality of the experience of life that you are having.

The opportunity cost is that you are missing the opportunity to truly experience the only real moment that exists.

The one right here, right now.

….

In the next episode, we will look at its attempts to predict the future.

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Late Living Present

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Late to the party of reality

Fighting what is

Arguing my case

For what should be

Time spent hosting

The illusion of control

The gift of the present ignored

Entertaining imposters instead

The Past and the future

Not present

Surrendering instant access

To the truth of now

Reality as it is

For life to be lived

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What percentage of your waking hours does your mind spend thinking about the present moment?

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Episode 4 was about the mind's tendency to fixate on the past or future while we are missing out on the experience of the present moment(Click the link in the comments below to catch up).

The mind in the attempt to keep you safe from perceived dangers will attempt to date to predict the future, assuming that the past will equal the future which it does not.

There are many factors that will play into the future that are not within your control.

It is also assumes that who you are now is who you will be in the future, not accounting for growth.

In its attempt to help you avoid any feelings of loss, pain or failure, is steers you away from taking 'risks' that are often the doorway to growth.

If things do not go as planned any feelings you may experience are not capable of killing you. They are feelings that will pass, if you don't add more thinking to it and just observe it without judgement.

Experiments have shown that your mind is likely to be wrong 80% of the time, would you hire someone with that hit rate on their CV as your life guide?

In the next episode, we will look at comparisons.

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Fancy Prediction

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Equating predictability as safety

Presuming to predict the future

Based on unreliable past data

Up against a universe

Intent on displaying

Its full splendour

Full of all possibility

Never rendering

Any two moments the same

Ego persists in its illusion

It can predict its Next move

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In what way does the minds predictions help you prepare for the future?

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Episode 5 explored the mind's abysmal attempt at predicting the future and how it leaves us susceptible to experiencing unnecessary suffering. (Click the link in the comments below to catch up.)

The mind uses comparison as a shortcut to making decisions, which is fine for objects but limited when it comes to complex humans.

Everyone is unique in so many ways; even identical twins from the same egg have different fingerprints.

I believe that we are all unique expressions of the same divine essence and are suited to our purpose.

There may be a place for benchmarks that help us establish progress, as long as we don't then use it to conclude matters that relate to our self-worth, as that rarely ends well.

Comparing ourselves to others has a way of skewing reality and matching our weaknesses against the strengths of others or vice versa.

If you notice yourself feeling inadequate or superior compared to others, it is a cue to get curious about what the mind is up to. The former is a recipe for suffering, and the latter has its own undesirable side effects when relating to those now considered 'inferior'. 

A useful reset is to reflect on and celebrate the reality of your own uniqueness.

In the next episode, we will look at the deeper what determines self-worth.

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Endless game
By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Let's play that game
Which game is that?
Comparing apples with pears
What would be the point of that?

To see how close they are to being the same
But that will never be the case
That is why we play the game
It is guaranteed to never cease!

Strengths and weaknesses
By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Fish in water
Monkey on trees
Tell me about
Their strengths
And weaknesses
If you transpose these

Which is feeling strong?
Which is being weak?
Now put them back
Where they belong
Do you see
what I mean?

Find the best place
For you to breathe
Stop barking up
The wrong tree
Embrace what makes
you unique
Forged by the
Context you've
Grown in

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What unique traits will you be celebrating?

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Episode 6 highlighted the side effects of human comparison, such as arrogance or feelings of inadequacy. (Click the link in the comments below to catch up).

Comparison has a way of shining a light on your sense of self-worth. When it is derived from relative performance, the mind can have a field day driving down your self-esteem.

In a work setting, performance is important as a measure of progress and creates opportunity for honest reflection and learning that could support improvements.

Performance is a reflection of how you are executing on your intentions, but it is an unhelpful leap to use that to assess your worth. It implies that doing is your only purpose.

Here is an invitation to consider a paradigm shift. Your self-worth as a human should never be up for debate. The fact that you exist is all the proof you need.

Stand in the truth that you are here, because you were meant to be. That is a solid foundation to execute from.

There is no end to the notion that anything out there will do the job and prove your worth. Something that should never be required in the first place. Your worth is beyond external circumstance, class or status.

You are worthy Now!

In the next episode, we will look at how the mind creates blind spots

If you resonate with this, then please share it with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Enough

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

When so and so happens, then I will…

Fill in the blanks as you know what I mean

Be fulfilled

Be happy

Be complete…

The list goes on with the end so tantalisingly out of reach

Pushing into the distance what dwells deep within

Imbued with the seeds of your own greatness

Hard to find everywhere else what only you can grant

Permission to declare that you are enough

Presence Enough

By  Frank Bolaji Irawo

Trying so hard to prove

I deserve to be here

Just how much it would take

Your guess as good as mine

Who gets to decide

That my Presence is not enough?

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How does it feel to look yourself in the mirror and declare "I am Enough!!" ?

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In episode 7, we concluded that our self-worth should not be up for debate. (Click the link in the comments below to catch up.)

So far, we have explored the mind's poor attempts to predict the future and make human comparisons. Through the power of noticing, these are relatively easy to detect. The same cannot be said for its tendency to hold on to a bias.

The mind's priority is to keep you safe; it has an aversion bias towards the unknown or any scenario remotely similar to one in the past that did not turn out "right".

It is therefore more likely to skew most considerations towards all the reasons you should avoid going ahead.

This can be easily missed, as it distorts the picture by highlighting numerous cons while overlooking the pros, thereby creating a blind spot.

It may catastrophise the situation by presenting worst-case scenarios that don't align with reality.

To catch this, you would need to be primed to notice and intentionally prompt for the other side of the decision equation through questions like:

What else can be true?

What would I miss out on if I don't do this?

The more open and shut the mind paints a situation, the more prudent it is to explore what else has not been considered.

Having another person as a trusted sounding board is another good way to surface the mind's bias; asking someone who has no skin in the game is more likely to compensate for your mind's unbiased view.

You can brief them on what you have considered and then ask them, "What else am I missing?"

In the next episode, we explore how to spot assumptions the mind is prone to making.

Please share this with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Fear chat

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

I had a chat with fear

About Its obsessive stifling

A quiet word for it to ease off

Give me a break so I could live on

Without its constant meddling

Just as I'm about to push off

Do the things that stretch me

To my surprise fear replied

I assure you it's all for the best

Staying away from the unknown

Guarantees no surprises

To never take a chance

Is to know no failure

Always playing it safe

Is to make no mistakes

To never face danger

Ensures no harm is done

All I do is to save you

From the perils of life

That's one way of looking at it

Was my retort

Staying away from the unknown

Guarantees no adventure

To never take a chance

Is to close the door to success

Always playing it safe

Reduces chances to grow

To never face danger

Dulls the fun of being alive

All that leads to is the path

Of death without living

We made a deal

It can speak

I will listen

I get to decide

To try and fail and learn

Than never to try at all

To die knowing I lived

Than live like the dead

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What is fear pushing you away from?

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In episode 8, we discovered the mind's ability to skew considerations towards avoiding the unknown. (Click the link in the comments below to catch up.)

The mind uses the past to attempt to predict the future so that it can either avoid it or prepare for it.

To achieve this, it makes certain assumptions:

✨ The past is equal to the future, discounting all the other variables outside your control that could influence future outcomes

✨ The you that had the previous experience is still the same, discounting the inner growth that may have taken place

✨ It knows what other people are thinking, equating its own projections as facts

While there may be value in this, the problems come when expectations are set based on this very rough estimation.

The potential for disappointment looms large on the horizon if things don't go as well as expected or needless energy is expended when things don't go as badly as anticipated.

The invitation is to hold these predictions lightly and not be emotionally attached to their outcomes. Enjoy the moment as it unfolds.

This approach is more likely to lead to a better quality of life.

When you experience disappointments, reverse engineer the thinking process and spot either the mind overreaching in its ability to predict the future or the point at which you began to respond to the mind's prediction as fact.

In the next episode, we will explore how the mind can ignore self-evident facts.

Please share this with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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The Story

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

You know that story?

Yes, that one in your head

The one you’ve told a thousand times

Yet it never seems to grow old

Not a doubt about its "truth"

All those people thinking about you

Almost as much as you do

Looking down on you

Thinking that you are…

Big-headed

Ugly

No good at your job…

And on and on the stories go

Like an endless game of blankety blank

You know for sure that is what they are thinking

You are left in no doubt that is what they be saying

The moment they know you’ve left the room

What else could explain those curious looks

Or the rather strange signals you are picking up

I must say that I’m quite impressed

So much so, I have one request

Let me in on that wonderful gift

Where did you learn that Jedi mind-reading trick?

To know exactly what they be thinking

In view of the words never spoken.

A bit like the question about the Chicken and the egg

Who started the story

That created the energy

That prompted the look

That attracted the look

That generated the energy

That made the story seem true?

The answer can be found in a mirror near you

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What assumptions are you catching your mind making?

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In episode 9, we examined the mind's tendency to make assumptions that lead to unreliable predictions of the future. (Click the link in the comments below to catch up.)

There is a common misconception that the mind is invested in finding the truth. Nothing could be further from it. The mind's priority is resolving the unknown and regaining a sense of control, which it interprets as safety.

In past experiments where scientists separated the right and left hemispheres of the brain to help alleviate symptoms of epilepsy, they discovered that the sense-making part of the brain created reasons why certain things occurred, which turned out to be inaccurate.

The fascinating part of it was that the person was totally convinced that they were right!

The mind, over time, creates a construct of a single self with an identity that has certain beliefs and values. If you are, then take action that contradicts that self-image, and you experience a sense of discomfort referred to as dissonance.

The mind does not like this state, so it will do what it can to resolve it.

A good example is when a leader's self-image is founded on not being deserving. If they work hard and achieve success, they will experience dissonance, and the mind will step in to help resolve that discomfort by attributing the success to luck and working even harder to justify something that is already a reality.

This is often framed as Imposter Syndrome. The mind ignores the reality of your achievement in favour of its outdated and unhelpful conditioning.

It is always helpful to get curious about what the mind presents as truth and ask, 'Is this really true?', What else could be true? Get any objective evidence that can act as a reference point for a more accurate perspective of your 'reality'. 

In the next episode, we will explore how the mind gets in the way of peak performance

Please share this with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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Mind the truth

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

When the facts are AWOL

Mind fills in the gaps

Getting stuck in those spaces

Where truth should have been

There is now twice the terrain

For you to navigate

Mined by the mind

For what closes the loop

So all appears to make "sense"

No guarantee the truth will emerge

The Right Truth

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Not one to let the truth get in the way of being right

There is no way I’m going down without a fight

What would become of me

If I were not proved to be right

How wrong would that be?

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What are you noticing when you query the minds truth?

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In episode 10, we discovered the mind's quest for certainty as a means of re-establishing a sense of control and therefore safety and how it is prone to achieving this by any means necessary, including mistruths (Click the link in the comments below to catch up.)

Peak performance is about performing at our best relative to the resources available to us. When we are not satisfied with our performance, the focus often switches to looking for what is missing or broken.

Except for physical impediments that may restrict your ability to do something, the answer often lies in the mind.

As fellow poet Rumi puts it, "Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it"

The point is that when we are delivering what we inherently believe we are capable of, maybe we don't need more but less.

What would it do to your executive presence if you believed that you were already capable and that you would deliver once you understand and transcend what is getting in your way?

See Your True Essence - You are the one conscious of your mind

Present To The Source Of Confusion - Your mind can get confused

Ascend The Thinking - Look from a higher perspective

Connect To The Present - Breathe consciously, hum, etc

Experience The Present Moment - Access the resourceful thinking you need now

This is what TransFLOWmation is about: unlocking what's getting in the way so that your true potential can be unleashed

TransFLOWmation Equation

Conscious Recognition – Limiting Beliefs => FLOW Of Unleashed Potential => Transformation

In the following episodes, I will bring you real-world examples of the TransFLOWmation approach supporting leaders to perform better with a greater sense of fulfilment.

Please share this with anyone you feel might benefit from it.

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TransFLOWmation Complete

By Suzanne Lång

TransFLOWmation Complete

In the river of flow, no edges remain,

The coach dissolves, the client’s refrain.

Through presence alone, the shift appears,

A quiet transformation that transcends all fears.

Congratulations, dear Frank, on this sacred art,

A PCC badge - but that’s just the start.

For who you are, beyond title and name,

Was always the flow, unbound and untamed.

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What is getting in the way of your FLOW?

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