Points of view about the same set of circumstances can differ from person to person based on their current state and/or mental conditioning. It's like we all have our own virtual reality headset configured by our life experiences to see things differently and, as a result, react differently.

Many conflicts start when we fail to recognise this and assume the other person sees things from our perspective, but is just choosing to be unreasonable.

Preconceived, one-sided expectations only set us up for disappointment and conflict. When a Hollywood notion of romantic love is subscribed to, it can feel unromantic to have to tell the other person how to best meet your needs, and you may start questioning if you are meant for each other after all.

Often, conflicts come from polarised views that have not been combined to create a united understanding from both perspectives. The presumption is that there can only be one right point of view. If you see yellow and I see blue, if we combine both tints together, we see green. Because blue and yellow are both in there.

Asking questions to gain an understanding of another person's perspective rather than assuming they are the same as yours is very helpful. Affirming that person's right to hold that point of view, even if it differs from yours, will help create an atmosphere where they are more likely to want to hear your point of view.

It is possible to understand how people arrive at the choices they make if you can understand the perspective that is driving their thinking based on human instincts.

We cannot make lemonade if each of the ingredients remains rigid and refuses to dissolve for the goal of making something that would be sweeter. We will end up with an unpleasant mix that serves no one.

The other person in a relationship needs a safe space from which to share their honest perspective without fear of judgment. There are subtle clues we can send others that their views are not welcome if different from ours. Giving full attention and being actively curious provides great assurance.

You need to be willing to accept what is true for the other person before you should expect them to do the same for you. From there, you can begin to enquire about finding common ground from which to reach an understanding. This may require re-adjusting our original expectations to become better aligned.

What step can you take to start understanding the other person's point of view?

Self-reflection is a vital part of understanding and navigating our human experience. It is good practice to check in with your heart: how is it, what is it experiencing, and why?

We are conditioned to numb ourselves with distractions such as entertainment, substances or accumulating stuff rather than take that journey within.

It seems that we are so afraid of what we might find. There is no shortcut to this. What we are avoiding is the very thing we need to evolve into a better version of ourselves and enhance our relationships.

The circumstances in which we find ourselves are not as important as the fact that we have each other in those circumstances.

The relationship should matter more than the trapping of our circumstances. Better, bigger or posher does not guarantee success in a relationship, and none of it would matter if you are not happy in each other's company.

What external conditions are you waiting for before you can enjoy what you already have?

Love is to be held close but not too tightly, as it needs space to breathe and grow. If you recognise that you are holding on to a toxic relationship, best to let go and make room for something better.

Holding on to each other is a choice, especially when things are difficult. You get to decide if what you have is worth holding on to if you are both willing to look within to accept the reality of where you are now, thereby creating the context from which transformation can occur.

You get to co-create your experience of love based on who you are and how you are evolving within the context of your interactions, not based on other people's experiences. Over many seasons, this will continue to evolve with us.

How do you create space for your LOVE to breathe?

An environment that supports effortless, nourishing interaction has:

• Trust

• Openness

• Vulnerability

• Ease of flow

• Honesty

• Security

We are naturally attracted to such a natural and empowering environment because it is what we are created for and where we will thrive.

It is what we will create if we let go of unrealistic expectations from ourselves and others, our agendas, fear, and the need to control.

It emerges as we show up, trust and be present.

We don't need to go and find some magical ingredient; it's all here if we discover what is getting in the way and let go of it.

What one thing can you do to make your LOVE more nourishing?