The environment plays a big part in our conditioning. Sometimes we are caught in conditioning dictated by influence from a generation far removed from our current reality. It is worth becoming aware of and reflecting on our conditioning, and being curious about how relevant it is to our present context and whether it is still serving us.

When we fail to let go of the past, we close the door to opportunities present to us now. The mind is preoccupied with trying to recreate the past or ruminating over its loss to see what is here now.

Developing a practice of being present to what is happening now, no matter how mundane, strengthens our capacity to spot when we are lost in mind-created experiences that bear no direct relation to reality.

Regret serves no one after its lesson has been delivered.

Love is as multi-dimensional as we are; there are so many possibilities in experiencing it, and the invitation is for us to be open, aware and conscious in navigating it.

It is wise to take every opportunity our relationships present to learn about ourselves and grow to become better partners in a relationship.

What from your past has conditioned how you love now?

We often operate under the perception that we are living consciously, but most of what directs our default responses comes from the parts of our mind that we are not conscious of and by the time we catch wind of it, we are already in response mode.

Relationships offer us an opportunity to discover what lies deep within our programming as we are triggered for better or worse.

When we are willing to accept that you are the one being allowed to gain insight and transform, then you can be curious without judgment and begin to understand the beliefs and stories driving your choices.

We can give feedback that can support the growth of others in a relationship, but it would be better received if delivered from a place of non-judgment and love. 

Bottling things up and not communicating helps neither party; the offended suffer in silence, and the 'offender' may not be conscious that their actions have caused offence and so know how to adjust accordingly.

It is worth noting that the offended has had an experience created by their thinking about the 'offender's'' intentions, of which they are oblivious. This is proof that experience is created by thoughts, not external events.

What can you learn from the things that 'trigger' you?

Those who know better do better.

What we see in others is a projection of our own conditioning, and as we grow and our thinking changes, what we see also changes.

The gift of conflict in a relation can often be the seeing of that in others which we fail to see in ourselves.

When a button is being pushed that triggers anger in us, the button exists in us, not the other person. Conflict is an opportunity for self-awareness, not projection onto others. The latter results in us missing an opportunity to learn and transform our experience of the relationship.

There can often be a disconnect between what is said and what is heard/understood. The latter is governed by our own thinking framework/paradigm. 

Effective communication requires us to ensure that what is being said is heard in the same spirit as it is being said to avoid a communication breakdown that can lead to confusion and chaos.

When you are being triggered by someone or a situation, it is actually you doing the triggering; the person merely provides the context. 

Situations that irritate you are a prompt to have dialogue about the situation and find common ground and arrive at a mutually beneficial outcome, rather than get lost in the drama, expending a lot of energy in defending/justifying.

What is your common narrative when you blame others for how you are feeling?

It is better to make peace with the reality of who you are than the hope of who you think you will become. The latter is a recipe for frustration and heartbreak.

You cannot change another person directly, so it is better to decide to change yourself, and that could transform the relationship.

No relationship can be turned around if people are willing to work through their challenges.

The shame that was associated with marriage failure motivated people to work through issues, but now the shame is ascribed to those who stay in a relationship that is not working.

What is it that you wish were different about your partner?