We sometimes don't take action because we are afraid of our own greatness. This may be because we have subconsciously associated some negative outcome that may occur as a result of our success. 

Action gives form to invisible aspirations that have been residing in our heads.

There comes a time when we need to take that first step towards our direction of travel. It may not guarantee success, but the alternative of not doing anything does guarantee failure. 

Sometimes the greatest action possible for some people is just to get out of bed and face the day.

The mind can often predict overwhelming complexity as the outcome of success, and that ends up being enough to put us off and prevent further action. In other cases, it predicts that we would not be able to cope with it without taking into consideration that once you start taking action, it transforms you and equips you to do more or bring others into your world who can.

The actions you take to enhance your relationship are like a seed that, over time, can become the flourishing relationship you desire. It may be just saying the thing you have been thinking but have not said. 

Make it easy to do the thing that will make a difference in your relationship, and remove the barriers that make it easy for you to quit. Maybe write a note and read it out; whatever will make it easier. 

It's like a little child learning to walk; make room for false starts and setbacks; they are part of the growing process, and you gain data about what works and what doesn't. They are the data points upon which growth is built.

What step are you inspired to take to enhance your relationship?

For a relationship to deepen and grow, there must be vulnerability. Daring to be honest about who you are and how you feel in the hope that you will find safety and acceptance in the relationship. This is the outer working of an open stance.

Relationship test: can you live your own truth, or are you living the 'truth' that aligns with what will get you the other person's acceptance?

When we perceive our environment to be unsafe, we don our armour and close off to intimacy (into me see).

Negative things that have happened in the past, either in this relationship or a past one, may cause us to armour up. 

When we become open to different possibilities, we become less fixed in our belief in what is possible and are more likely to remain open to new possibilities. We take more risks and let in new experiences.

It is helpful to reflect on whether the danger preventing you from opening up is perceived or real. An open conversation sharing how you feel may support this.

You cannot control another person, so it is always more helpful to take responsibility for how you are showing. There is a good chance this may shift the dynamics of the relationship towards more positivity.

What is stopping you from being more vulnerable?

Relationships are a journey to better understanding and experiencing each other.

There are many things that result in a relationship being at an impasse, where both parties point the finger at the other for why things are not moving forward. Point out that the situation is not ideal, but do not blame the person.

Being open to honestly exploring what is in the way may help unblock things and result in higher fulfilment being derived from the relationship.

If two people are at different stages of awareness regarding the elements and perspectives contributing to issues in their relationship, it can be difficult to get through to the one who is less aware. They may sense that they are being blamed or spoken down to, which will not help the relationship grow.

It is also not helpful relating to people in denial of where they are, because we want them to be different. There is an invitation to accept them as they are in recognition that we have no control over their developmental journey. Adults are meant to enjoy personal sovereignty.

Growth can only happen from the acceptance of the actual starting point of the person in question, not in the fantasy of where they are expected to be. When we relate to people based on where we are rather than where they are, we are more likely to use language and speak through paradigms that can easily be lost in translation, resulting in misunderstandings.

You cannot rush someone else's journey just for your convenience. If you don't meet them where they are, there is a greater chance for confusion and frustration.   

What are you taking responsibility for in your relationship?

There is a presumption that we all share some common unwritten rules of relationships that everyone is expected to be aware of. This leads to disappointment and negative interactions when not experienced by the other person. 

To be loved is a need common to all humans, but how it is translated into practice is specific to each individual's conditioning and expectations.

Releasing all assumptions and being willing to communicate on all levels about all aspects of what love in action would look like for each party will establish a common understanding that has a better chance of translating into a practice that communicates love that meets the needs in the relationship.

What assumptions are you making about the other party in your relationship?

If you carry the narrative that someone else has to affirm your self-worth, you may not enjoy the best of what your relationship has to offer.

You may be missing out on the potential for a fulfilling relationship because you are waiting for perfect conditions before making a move towards the other person.

You may come across as needy in a relationship when you appear desperate for their approval; they may view you as energy draining and unsafe.

When you own your own self-worth, you exude the energy that you can hold your own ground and are safe to be around.

Life being great could be just a perspective shift away. If you appreciate what you have already and enjoy it in the moment of its unfolding, you will enjoy a great life.

You can choose to let go of preconditions that don't serve your relationship and enjoy what you have between you now. The positivity this will bring may well deliver some of the other things you have let go of.

The approval you seek never arrives, as most of it is made up in your head, and you keep creating more. It is worth realising that if you are not accepted as you are now, there is a chance you never will, so just accept yourself as you are and move on.

The cycle of seeking approval is more about us than anyone else. We are often projecting our reflection of ourselves on others. If we go on a journey of self-love, we create a space where love can come in and find us through someone else.

What about your relationship can you begin to appreciate now?