Value who you are and the way you do things, and don't expend needless energy trying to fit a mould crafted by others for you to fit into.

The opportunity cost of trying to be what others find more palatable is that you miss out on the unique gifts you are here to share.

Self-love is a better foundation on which to build a loving relationship. You bring your wholeness to the table instead of putting the burden of love on the other person.

Without self-love, it is hard to genuinely internalise love from another. The same undeserving feeling that stops you from giving love to yourself will stop you from receiving it from others, even though you desire it.

When you choose to love yourself, you stop burying your uniqueness to earn other people's love.

What small step can you take now to express self-love?

It seems easier to be kind to others but not to ourselves, as we buy into the notion that kindness to yourself needs to be earned through effort or good behaviour rather than being a given because you are human.

We struggle to accept the kindness of others and start looking for ulterior motives for their kindness rather than believing that they were doing it out of the kindness of their hearts to show their love.

Our intimate knowledge of our failings and shortcomings, combined with our lack of such intimacy with others' internal world, causes us to see them as more deserving than we are of kindness.

You don't need permission or any excuse of a special occasion to show kindness to yourself. You can take yourself out and enjoy your own company.

People who love you don't want to receive your love at the expense of your well-being. Put on your own mask first, before trying to help others.

How will you respond the next time someone shows you kindness?

It is easier to estimate others as better than we are, underplaying our own strengths at the expense of our sense of worth. We are not better than or less than; we are just different, which is not comparative but equidistant.

Human comparison is problematic as we are all unique and therefore extraordinary by definition. Of course, if everyone is extraordinary, then being so is no longer a thing of special status that one person can use to diminish someone else's value.

Love inspires us to accept each other as wonderfully and extraordinarily unique and for neither of us to diminish the other in value.

With whom have you been comparing yourself?

An invitation is not a mandate to attend; it is an opportunity presented to attend, and you get to decide whether to take or leave it. If you consider all the pros and cons and you decide not to attend, regret and self-doubt are optional extras you can do without.

We get to be on the riverbank bank noticing thoughts going by; the fact that it passes through our minds doesn't mean we have to own it and engage with it. We can turn down the invitation to engage and can just let it pass right on by. Let it go, let it flow, don't try to fix it, and the mind that created the mental load is the one offering to fix it by creating even more mental load.

Useful questions of curiosity about our thoughts are:

Is this real?

Is this true?

Is this helpful?

We do not control or own thoughts that pass through our minds; we only notice them after they are there. There is no point in fighting it, as it will only persist and create a cycle of suffering.

How much of what your mind fixates on is relevant to your present moment?