I was a 10K Virgin…

I was not new to running but the most I had ever run was just over 5K mark around my local area as a weekly cardio workout.

Two things converged to change that and set me on course to running my first 10K race.

The first was finding out that charity water had a running club which provided an opportunity to run and raise funds for a good cause as well (see link in comments to find out more).

The second was having a stretch goal to almost double my running distance in a matter of months.

I signed up for the Asics 10K race which I completed in 59 minutes and 37seconds on Sunday 9th July.

I will be sharing a series of poetic reflections about the leadership lessons I learnt while losing my 10K virginity.

It is my hope that it would inspire your to reach for your own stretch goals and enjoy the journey.

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The journey

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

What is a journey

If not for the first step

Then the next one

Don't omit to pause

Take in the wonder

As long as you

Keep finding a reason

To take the next one

That's a journey you are on

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What journey are you on?

What would a stretch goal look like for you?

I am not referring to the muscle stretches done before a run to warm them up and get them loose and ready for the run ahead.

I am talking about setting new goals that require you to step out of your current comfort zone. Like me signing up to my first 10k race never having run further than 5.8K before.

It is almost impossible to predict the limits of what a human being can achieve as we are designed to adapt to deal with whatever challenges are placed before us.

There is a bias towards the body operating at maximum efficiency by only expanding capabilities when it has evidence that it is actually required on a regular basis.

To push the growth agenda and expand your capabilities, set your sights on new horizons and see what happens.

Human design

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Sat on the couch

I waited and waited

When will they grow

Muscles that bulge

Make knees weaken

The horse now puzzled

By the cart before it

Turns out nature expands

Based on increasing demands

Time to venture

Out of the comfort zone

Yes you can wait

And then wait some more

Bigger muscles come

From stretching these

To the point where

Only new ones will do

At the junction

Where means, motive

And opportunity meet

There is the chance

For the capacity to grow

That is the wisdom

Of human design

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What was once a stretch goal but is now well within your comfort zone?

What could you do to stretch yourself there or in another area?

Time is a slippery character, one minute it behaves like it's absolute and in the next moment it seems very relative.

Time is what it is, we experience it differently depending on what stories the mind is preoccupied with.

It can take me two hours to get ready for an event and it feels like the right amount of time but if I end up with only thirty minutes to achieve the same outcome I am surprised to find that it works just as well.

The benefit of signing up for the Asics 10K race was that I had an immovable date with 18,000 other people.

At the time it gave me around three months to stretch my race endurance by another 45% which worked out to adding 1.2K every month.

Knowing this made training straightforward forward and I had my checkpoints to evaluate how I was getting on.

Whatever you intend to do, set a time to get it done or you increase the chance of it not being done. Once you have an end date it becomes easier to plan.

The more immovable you make the deadline, the more focused the mind gets especially if you are accountable to others (what that is the case is a topic for later in the series).

Spending time

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Time absolute

My time, your time

Time for this, time for that

Summer Time shuffle

This time zone, that time zone

Zig, zag, jet lag, sleeping hacks

Where did the time go?

Felt we had more time

Took my time to spend it

Squeeze the value out of it

Then I ran out of time

24 hours a day was my lot

Now I'm trying to find time

I had so carelessly lost

Turns out time once gone

Is nowhere to be found

Set about to make time

For the those that matter

That may work for money

But no time factory exists

Every moments counts

Do they count the same?

Respect my time

Show up on time

Spending the most valuable

Resource of all

This is of course

Till you find flow

Get present

With intention

Paying full attention

Then time slows

So it seems

Time relative

As I experience it

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Do you have a deadline for completing your stretch goal?

If not, what is stopping you from setting that date?

If yes, what would your milestones be to completing it?

As mentioned in part 3, accountability to others often acts as an extra motivation for getting things done.

In my case having communicated to my LI network that I was running the race, there was no way I was going to quit. Letting myself down was one thing, but almost unthinkable when others are involved.

On reflection, it appears that my commitment to others carries more weight than my commitment to myself. If the latter failed I could lean on the former for motivation.

It could be argued that this should actually be the other way around, but I suspect societal conditioning may have something to do with this skew. What do you think? Share in the comments.

For now, let's embrace it as it is. If you feel you need the extra motivation, publicise your stretch goals to those you trust and invite them to keep you accountable to your milestones.

Don't forget this is something you are using to stretch yourself, hold it tightly enough to move you beyond your comfort zone but not so tight that all the fun is sucked out of it (more about that in the next part).

It is that

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

It is this

That’s what it is

No need to ask why

No point in the how come

It is that until it is not

How do I know

That it has changed

Because it is no longer this

It is now that

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Whom would you choose to share your stretch goals with?

How could they best support you to keep to it?

Don't grimace through the process of achieving your stretch goal hoping to enjoy the end. Find a way to make all of it fun.

If there is no enjoyment in the process, there is a good chance your mind will find creative ways to avoid doing what is required.

If the activity is not one you naturally enjoy, reflect on the benefits of the outcomes instead. Visualise enjoying them after you have put in the work and over time the link becomes automatic and motivation to do what is required becomes easier.

Another hack is to combine the activity with something you do enjoy. If that is not possible, then reward yourself with something you love straight after you complete the activity. This way your mind can start making the association between them drive better motivation.

I enjoy running because it gives me time to be by myself and reflect. I also use the opportunity to listen to audiobooks which feed my mind and counts as professional development making me better at what I love doing.

I gamify each session by seeing how much quicker I can finish covering the distance, tracking it with apps such as Strava and Asics runner.

Find out how achieving your stretch goal will improve your quality of life. If none of these hacks work for you, then maybe you have just chosen the wrong thing to work on.

You get to live this life once, dance to the beat of your own drum, Don't chase someone else's dream or let others should all over you(we will get more into this in the next part) .

The end

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

What if life was like a piece of music

Would you turn a deaf ear to every other note

Waiting for the rush of the anticipated crescendo?

What if life was like a book of adventures

Would you keep flicking through all the pages

Building all the anticipation for a climatic end?

What if life was like a collection of present moments

Wouldn't you live every one of them like they mattered?

Letting the final end come when it does, with no regrets

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What do you enjoy about the process of reaching your stretch goal?

How could you increase your enjoyment of the process?

Whatever route I take I am guaranteed to meet other runners out there. My first instinct is to respond to my competitive drive and try and outpace them.

I have learnt from experience that this is not a great idea for several reasons:

1. I don't know their level of experience and fitness compared to mine

2. I could burn myself out competing with someone who is way ahead of the running
curve

3. I don't know what type of training they are involved in (building speed or distance
endurance etc)

4. I am likely to get dragged off course from my training program which is best suited to
my objective

In a lot of cases, I have been tempted to run after someone only to discover them further down the track resting while I'm committed to several more miles non-stop!

There is nothing wrong with a bit of competition for motivation to stretch yourself, it is just best to be aligned with who you are doing it with.

In the absence of that, then compete with yourself to better your performance and give a wink or nod of appreciation to those you meet along the way. You at least now know what it takes to be out there putting in the effort.

It can be exhausting and disorienting trying to dance to the beat of someone else drum. Find the rhythm that works for you and matches where you are on the development curve and trust it (In the next part we will explore this further).

Drummer

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Tap, Tap, Tap

Moved my feet

That's what the

Drum beat

Wanted of me

Soon I was lost

Moved by the beat

Joined by many more

Feet

Worn out and exhausted

Mesmerised by music

Slave to the rhythm

Emanating from

Someone else's drum

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What did you learn the last time you caught yourself dancing to another drummer's beat?

How can you use healthy competition to help you reach your stretch goal?

This series is about achieving a stretch goal, not a break goal.

There is a progressive and flexible essence to the word stretch. A streee..tch goal is meant to expand your capacity at a steady pace with a freedom to adjust based on what you learn as you go along.

If you push too hard too soon, you could break your morale amongst other things and lose motivation to continue. Never lose sight of the fact that you set the goal, you can adjust as you learn more.

It did take me a while to learn this lesson. When I first started running, my competitive drive took over and I went all out from 0k to 5K in no time. My body soon told me how it felt about that.

It may be beneficial to follow a plan for expanding your capacity, try an follow it as best as you can. Respect your uniqueness. No plan can cater for all personal variances. Experiment and see what works for you. For me adding approximately 1.2K a month worked fine so I stuck with it.

For those completely new to running below is a link to a couch to 5K plan

https://www.sportsshoes.com/running-hub/training/0-5-km-a-beginners-guide-to-running/

As we will discover in the next part of this series, our stretch goal can be a gift that keeps on giving if we develop new eyes and get creative with it.

Awake

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Awareness - Of who is

Acceptance - Of what is

Adjustment - to what is helpful

Assessment - Of what has evolved

Awake - To it all being a dream

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How do you plan to stretch to your goal?

What have you learned about yourself while trying to follow your plan?

When you are trying something new or attempting to stretch your existing capacity or competence the mind can go into overdrive fixating on past failures or what could go wrong in the future. If that is not enough distraction, it starts predicting what others may think of you.

The mind does this to keep you safe from what it deems to be reputational damage to your ego. An ego that it constructed as the centre of the universe in the first place!

The irony is that I am better served by being fully present to what I am doing so that my full mental bandwidth is available for the task at hand not clogged up by chatter that often has no basis in reality.

I will not enjoy running if I am constantly worrying about what others think. There is every chance that they are busy thinking about themselves!

I will be missing appreciating the beauty of nature, the wonder of the human body, the delight of sunlight and the gift of air.

Rather than fixate on the potential for failure it is more helpful to see it as an opportunity to discover what else I am capable of.

This increases the chance of enjoying the process which in turn increases motivation to continue.

A useful tool for resetting back to the present moment is the ABC switch

Awareness that your mind is in overdrive

Become aware of your breath to reset the mind

Choose to focus on what is before you now

In the next part, we will explore how we evaluate success.

Present Focus

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

I beg to be enlightened

The moment before me

Slips away in a blink

Thoughts of all things past

Ruminations of a future unseen

Eating away at what focus there is

A quiet spot

My eyes now shut

Consciously breathing

My focus on…

What matters

In this moment

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What type of thoughts often distract from being present to what you are doing?

What method for resetting your focus back to the present, works for you?

The most important thing about aiming for a stretch goal is not the final outcome but rather what you learn about yourself as a result of reaching for it.

Success is not what you achieve, but who you become.

In preparing for my first 10K race, I learnt:

I was more resilient than I had realised. When the going got tough in training, I was able to become present and just take the next step and then the next till eventually I was able to complete the session.

I was capable of higher levels of commitment. Working to milestones and doing things I loved in tandem made the process so enjoyable that I began looking forward to training!

I had so much untapped potential. I surprised myself in stretching my race endurance and pace from just over 5K in 38 minutes to about 12K in 76 minutes in a matter of 2 months!

It wasn't all just down to me. Through the generosity of so many people, we raised over £1.3K to support the work of Charity Water.

It is possible to do something you love and create a life-changing impact in the world.

I derived so much joy from the process that the race itself became a wonderful bonus. More about that in the next part.

Success Is

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Success is experiencing discomfort

Because you have touched a "reality"

Success is opening your heart

And feeling something deep within

Success is being more aware of what is good

And what could be better

Success is aspiring to be better

More accurately informed by experience

Success is a decision to work on you

And model a better way of being

Success is a process not an end state

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What have you learned about yourself from undertaking daunting tasks?

What have you learned about others around you when facing challenges?

For stretch goals with fixed dates culminating in an event like my 10K race, first, the day seemed so far away until it was not. Here I was 9th of July 2023, time to discover if all the training and preparation has paid off.

Having found the fun in the process and did more in training than the race would ask of me. I went in reasonably confident but not negligent.

I had two objectives that day:

1. Be present enough to take in the atmosphere of my first 10K race

2. Make it around in one piece in the fastest time I could muster

What I had not counted on was 18,000 other people being on the same journey. I was a sea of people like I had not seen outside of a stadium. Thanks to excellent planning and stewarding, that did not cause an issue. It helped to have family there for support.

I got talking to some of the other racers and found someone aiming to get around in 45 minutes, up till that point, my best pace in training suggested I make it in 65 minutes, but I wanted to bring that down to under an hour.

After trying to follow faster runners who kept disappearing out of view, I finally settled into my own race weaving in and out of going at a slower pace including a man pushing a child in a buggy!

There was great encouragement from the crowd, entertainers that lined the route and each other. There were shouts of "Come on, you can do it" as some struggled towards the finish line.

With just enough energy in the tank for a sprint finish I completed the course in 59 minutes and 37 seconds.

I was grateful for the opportunity and all those who supported the fundraising effort.

I took the time to celebrate the achievement, knowing at this stage that it was now just a stepping stone to something more challenging. I'll explain why in the next part.

Fearless

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Fearlessness is not overcoming fear

Like in a fight or a war

It is not being afraid of fear either

And insisting that it disappear

It is about knowing its true nature

Appreciating its true intentions

Acknowledging genuine concerns

Holding love closer than it

While taking the very next step

Fearing no less while staying true

To serve what is flowing from you

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What achievement of a stretch goal would you love to celebrate?

How would you celebrate it?

About halfway through my training program, I discovered the jump from 5 to 10K did not feel enough of a stretch. I realised my next stretch should make me wonder if I could really pull it off.

You know that saying "When at first you stretch and reach, then stretch again to reach even further" (I admit, I just made that up but it kind of has a ring to it.)

So I signed up to run the Richmond Park half marathon on September 10th for Charity Water. To put this in context, that is doubling what I ran for my 10K in just over two months!

I'll let you know how I get on with training and the race further down the line.

If you have followed the series so far, here is what we have learned together:

(If you are new to the series, then you can catch up using the link in the comments or DM for it.)

1. Every journey starts from where you are and focusing on taking the next step

2. By setting goals beyond our comfort zone we activate growth as capacity expands to deal
with new demands

3. Setting a timeline engages the mind to focus on each step and get things done

4. Being accountable to others increases motivation to follow through

5. Finding the fun in the process sustains motivation to achieve or exceed expectations

6. Don't get distracted by the journey of others, focus on your own why and customise your
approach

7. Avoid drastic jumps to your goal, stretch progressively or you could break your resolve

8. Optimal performance occurs when fully present in the moment; neurosis of the mind is
counterproductive.

9. While trying to achieve the goal don't lose sight of the real prize of who you are becoming
in the process

10. Celebrate your achievement when you get to it, take in the moment; it's what you worked
hard for.

Most of these would be relevant when reaching for any goals that take you out of your comfort zone.

In case you are wondering what all this running and stretching has to do with leadership, I'll share that in the next part.

In the meantime do celebrate yourself showing up today as your best self, knowing that is an ever-evolving process.

Your best self

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

In this moment

Is this the best

I can do?

Then I can ask

No more

To this notion

I'll be true

That is my Best Self

For me

Creating space

For everyone

To live in the reality

That is at play

In this moment

That is their Best Self

Too

Until it isn't

Making way

For something new

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How have you responded in the past when you reached a goal easier than you thought you would?

What would be a build on your current stretch goal?

This series is predicated on the premise that many learnings in life are transferrable. We often discount our experience in what we term our personal life when we evaluate our competence in the professional arena.

I used to doubt my ability to support senior leaders until I recognised that I had been a leader for over 25 years in many domains of life.

We have only one life all our experiences are available for us to engage and dial-up as needed in any arena of life.

I had no idea what it would be like to run 10k until I committed to a race and started working towards it. It was in the process that I kept adjusting my target and finally managed to complete it in less than an hour

This points to how expansive our untapped potential is and what might be possible if we put ourselves in these situations more often.

History is made in the rearview mirror. You only realise how much you have grown by stepping out of your comfort zone when you reflect on the experience. If you are anything like me, most of them were forced by external circumstances.

I am now asking myself the question "Where in my business could I take more risk and venture out of my comfort zone?"

What business goals could I set that would seem far out of reach but could get so much closer in the process of working towards it?

As a leader, you can stimulate growth by:

1. Modelling the benefits of setting stretch goals

2. Create collective stretch goals for others to participate in

In the next part, I'll tie all this up with how I support leaders to sustainably maximise their professional potential.

History

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

History is in the making

Don't always get it

Can't tell in advance

Its true significance

Until it is observed

In the rearview mirror

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What challenges have you tackled in the past that turned out to become more significant in retrospect?

What collective stretch goal could you create?

This journey started with a desire to make clean drinking water possible for more people around the world by raising funds for #charitywater. See the link in the comments to find out more about their work.

Through the wonderful generosity of my network on LI and in other domains we have managed to raise an amazing £1315!! A whopping £315 over the original target of £1000 set for my 10k race. This will make water possible for 43 people and their families.

In the spirit of the new stretch goal to run the Richmond Half Marathon on Sunday 10th of September 2023, we have a new target of £2000 which would impact 23 people more!

It is clear from the comments on the giving page, that many people understand the significance of this cause so I have every confidence we can make it. To add some fun to the process I have come up with a way for you give and be in with a chance to win your own poetic portrait worth around £1000!

A poetic portrait is your own personally commissioned portrait painted with words framed in poetry to commemorate a key life milestone or event. See the link in the comments to find out more.

Here is how it would work:

1. Guess my finish time (I'm targeting sub 2hrs 15 minutes)

2. Give at least £5 and write your estimated finish time in the notes section on the
giving page or DM me(link also in the comments)

3. I complete the race and publish the person with the correct or closest guess as the
winner

4. If more than one person qualifies then I will use a random selection process to pick a
winner

5. I will send the winner a link to book a call to start the poetic portrait creation process

If you have already given your support, thanks so much. Gifts of all sizes are welcome and will make a great difference. If you are up for the guessing game, let's play!!

The Ripple

By Frank Bolaji Irawo

Making the world a better place

One person at a time

Once the pebble drops

The ripple starts

No control over how far it goes

That’s the way influence grows

Completely out of control

Let's start one now!

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Which people do you feel drawn to support and make a difference to their lived experience?

How can you support charities that are already supporting your target group?

Which talents and abilities can you leverage to start making a difference now?

Important Links

Charity water - https://www.charitywater.org/uk/about

Richmond Half marathon - https://runforcharity.com/charity-water/richmond-park-half--september/register

Giving page - https://www.charitywater.org/frank-bolaji-irawo/frank-running-to-make-dreams-possible

Poetic portrait - https://www.thecalmself.com/poetic-portrait